I recently helped a friend prepare for a job interview she really wanted. She showed me the email she planned to send to the hiring manager, and one thing immediately stood out: she used the words I, me, and my more than twenty times in just one short message.
The problem wasn’t her qualifications. The problem was focus.
Most people – especially busy professionals – aren’t sitting at their desks waiting to hear about what we want. They care about how we can help them. They want to know how we will solve their problem, support their goals, or make their work easier.
So, I asked my friend to rewrite the email from her potential employer’s perspective. She agreed, although she admitted it felt extremely difficult to do. She shifted the language from “I want, I hope, I would love” to “Here’s how I can help your team solve this,” and “Here are the outcomes I can support.”
She sent the revised message that evening.
And to her shock, the hiring manager responded the same night — something that had never happened before in her entire career.
That was the moment she realized how powerful this shift is.
After that experience, I checked my own emails and noticed how often I used “I” and “me” without even thinking. So I made a conscious effort to change it — and the difference was immediate. More responses. Faster responses. Better conversations.
This is a small habit, but it creates a big impact over time.
Before you send your next email, pause and ask:
“Is this message centered on me — or on the person reading it?”
When you shift the focus from yourself to them, you send a subtle but meaningful message:You matter. I’m here to help you.
And people respond to that.