We all want to believe that people mean what they say. We want to feel like the person in front of us is genuine — not pushing an agenda, not trying to impress us, not trying to get something from us. Just real.
The other day, I went to the phone store because it was finally time for a new phone. The salesperson immediately started pushing the most expensive model. Every answer he gave somehow came back to, “It’s only five dollars more per month.”
The price wasn’t the issue. I just wanted a phone that fit what I needed. But he never asked me what I valued. He assumed. And because he assumed, he came across as fake — like he cared more about the sale than the person standing in front of him.
That experience is a reminder of something important:
When we approach people with our own agenda, they feel it.
It doesn’t matter what we say. People can sense our intentions. And the moment they sense that we’re trying to get something rather than understand something, trust disappears.
Authenticity isn’t about being perfectly vulnerable or sharing every detail of your life. It’s actually much simpler:
Be curious about the other person first. Ask what they want. Ask what matters to them. Ask what they need.
When we take the time to understand people, we come across as genuine — not because we’re performing authenticity, but because we’re not focused on ourselves.
When you focus on others, your authenticity shows up naturally. And people respond to that more than almost anything else.