Here’s a simple formula that can reduce most of the negative stress in your life.
Stress often creates emotional reactions that don’t actually help us solve the problem we’re facing. For example, when we feel nervous about a deadline, the nervousness itself doesn’t help us complete the task—it actually makes us lose focus. It’s like holding a pencil at arm’s length. The pencil isn’t heavy, but holding it in place for a long period becomes exhausting.
So how do we remove the emotional weight before it drains us?
The approach is simple, though it takes practice to make it a habit.
The moment you notice yourself getting stressed, pause and recognize the emotion. You’ll feel it physically—tight shoulders, a clenched jaw, shallow breathing. When you feel that tension, stop and ask one important question:
“Is there anything I can do about this?”
If the answer is No → Let it go. Don’t give it any more of your attention or energy.
If the answer is Yes → Ask the next question:
“Can I do something about it right now?”
If the answer is Yes → Do it now.
If the answer is No → Schedule it. Put it on your calendar so your brain knows it won’t be forgotten.
Once you schedule it, let it go. The stress has served its purpose. You have a plan.
Example:
Your homeowners' association sends you a notice that fees are going up.
Can you do something about it?
If no → Release it.
If yes → Decide to bring it up at the next meeting, schedule the meeting date in your calendar, and refuse to waste emotional energy on it again.
This small process keeps you in control. Stressful situations will happen—it’s guaranteed. But your reaction to them is always your choice.