This one is about how we prepare ourselves before speaking to groups.
How often do you have to speak at work? Maybe you give updates in meetings, share ideas, speak at a wedding, or give input at your condo association. Most of us have to speak in front of others at some point—and most of us don’t look forward to it. One big reason is the thinking we have right before we speak.
Recently, I attended a talk where they opened up the floor for questions. I had one. But the moment I thought about raising my hand, my amygdala—the part of the brain designed to keep us safe—kicked in. My heart started racing. Thoughts rushed in like: What if they already answered this and I missed it? What if my question sounds dumb?What if they ask me a follow-up and I freeze?What if I blush?
So I didn’t raise my hand.
This is crazy to think about, because I speak to large groups for a living. Yet my brain still tries to protect me from embarrassment as if a tiger is hiding in the conference room. That instinct was useful when we needed to survive predators—not so helpful in a weekly staff meeting.
So what do most of us say to ourselves before we speak? What if I fail? What if I forget my point? What if they don’t like me?
That mindset is the real enemy—not the speaking itself.
Try this instead:
Right before you speak, tell yourself something positive. Say it out loud if you can.
“This is going to be fun.”
“I got this.”
“I know more about this than anyone in the room.”
“They’re going to love me.”
Yes, exaggerate it. Be bold. Be unrealistic. Confidence often starts as a performance—then the body catches up.
I say things like, You’re going to blow them away. And you know what? It works. The words we say to ourselves right before we speak shape our energy, our voice, and our presence.
So next time you speak—even if it’s just in a small meeting—say something positive to yourself first. You’ll feel the shift.